Praise to Buddha

I was "on call" today. Which means an hour before your shift you must call in. Until you call in you pray mighty hard. I was sacrificing small animals to Marduck. Burning incense and stacking oranges before a 3 inch Buddha figure, and for good measure a made a cross out of popcicle sticks.

I hate my job.

I love where I work though. Allow me to explain. I work in a videogame, movies, books, music store. Nerd paradise right? I know plenty about all of the above. My expertise lies in movies and books. I can talk all day long with people about what was a good movie or book, or which book they will make into a movie, or which movie they just wrote a book based on the screenplay.

I stop here to tell you all, I just heard Dave Eggers book, A Heart-breaking Work of Staggering Genius is going to be made into a movie. Nick Hornby is helping with the script. I am drooling already!

Anyway--the problem lies within the corporate nature of retail. It's not about helping customers as one might suspect. Nor is it about becoming educated about our products. It's about sales. It's about selling people things they don't need. It's about conning them into the a "Customer Rewards Program" and scamming them into signing up for "8 Free* Issues when you pay with a bankcard or credit card."

We all have goals. You would think that I would want to reach my goals. But I do not. Reaching my goals gets me nothing except the opportunity to not hear about how I am not reaching my goals. It also usually saves me some role-play time with one of the managers. But I am becoming quite good at role-playing and saying exactly what I am supposed to, to the manager, not the real customers.

I do have a goal.

My goal is to get through college and get a real job so I don't become a bitter retail hag. Honestly. In high school, who says, "Gee I really hope I get to be in charge of a bunch of 15 year olds who never show up for work, and I get to wear polo shirts and khaki pants for the rest of my life. Mmm mmm, that sure does sound fun!"

In any case. I don't have to work tonight.

Praise Jeebus riding on a Buddha! I don't have to hock magazines.




* The magazines are not free, they charge you after the first week, you have to cancel right away.