Attention Crapaholics, Savers is now closed

Have you ever been to a Garage Sale, Yard Sale, or Flea Market? I am a big fan. Not so much for the KRAZEE deals you get, but the hours of comedic material you can glean from one table marked 50 cents.

Well dear readers, welcome to Savers. The perpetual garage sale in a big ass garage. It's sort of like the Salvation Army--only more upscale!

I have made a decision. Henceforth, all gifts I purchase will be from Savers. All showers, birthdays, anniversaries, graduations, bar-mitzvahs shall be met with ceramic crap-excuse me, collectables I find at Savers.

I have also elected to start a praying hands collection. You can't have enough praying hands, let's face it. I found three pair at Savers. All reasonable in price! Also--there seems to be a big market for tissue box covers. I prefer the cross-stich variety, but would agree to ceramic if it was tastefully decorated with praying hands.

Savers is also a great place for a trip down memory lane. That murky hell that was adolecence. I found 2 New Kids on the Block tapes, Debbie Gibson, and Paula Abdul!! OH THE LUCK!

I also found BabbySitters Club Books, An assortment of novels by R.L Stine, and Christopher Pike. Mmm...good teen smut my friends!

I also know where I will be buying my next item of formal wear. Perhaps when I convince Reba Rottencrotch to go to the Second Chance Prom with me...picture it...me in a midnight blue number...off the shoulder...huge ass bows in random places at odd angles...and not one, but three layers of ruffles. Damn I'd be hot!

They also sell naughty second hand nighties. (I used some salad tongs from the houseware isle to handle this merchandise fear not!) I couldn't help but say, (out loud because I am a dumbass and enjoy public floggins) "Wow...how many white trash chillins were concieved because of these contraptions of lust?" It made an old lady giggle.

Ahh yes. Savers. Where all your dreams of pure crap can come true...for under 10 dollars! And if you're game, you too can have a urine stained couch of plaid. Dare to dream little truckers, dare to dream!