Tuesday, December 20, 2005

Thank You I'll Be Here All Week

I like making people laugh.

It’s even better when I can make a complete stranger bust up.

Saturday my family and I went to “town” to do some shopping. We of course had to make a pit-stop at my Dad’s favorite boutique: Savers. He’s constantly looking for a deal – and the cheaper and uglier the pants the better the deal.

He and I have also begun a tradition of looking at the used house wares for giggles. It all started a couple years ago with a bin of praying hand statutes.

My Dad thinks it would be the coolest thing in the world to start a praying hand collection. We still giggle about this – sadly we didn’t act on it that day – and there must have been a run on praying hands because they were all gone – and I haven’t seen any since. Maybe the Apocalypse is nigh? And me without any praying hands!

This trip we found some sheep glasses, a nativity made of out beads, spools, and popsicle sticks, and broken Christmas tree shaped soap dispenser (with no dispenser). However the COOLELST thing found this day was a goose mobile.

That’s right. A goose mobile! It had a shiny black base – a wire center and a mother goose and three babies – all rotating about four inches above the base. It’s like those steel ball desk ornaments – but with plastic geese.

“A goose mobile” my father muttered a little quizzically.

We both stood there watching it spin.

“I bet this is one of those things you don’t realize how badly you need until you see it in person.” I mused.

“And then in your own house it just looks like crap and you say ‘what am I doing with a goose mobile?’”

Apparently this is hilarious – because a girl passing us busted out laughing.

“Oh that’s good” she said. “That’s really good.”

We're funny. Strangers tell us so.

We got in a fight about which size eggnog shake he should order. My Mom yelled at us, to which my Dad said "Now - hold on - don't bust this up - we haven't had a good arguement in a long time - you're ruining our fun!"

The Howard and Jojo show. Once in Fleet Farm we got in a mock argument about loafers and boat shoes which got more than one customer chuckling – but trying to pretend like they weren’t listening to us.

My father (holding said boat shoes) “Hey I always wanted a pair of these.”

“Those are for old people”

“I am old – I need these!”

“Is it like a dull aching need, or a yearning?”

“Yearning.”

“Yeah – you really are officially old now – this is one of the first signs”

“Yearning for boat shoes – I’ve read about that in Newsweek”

“It’s like mom and her new collection of knickknacks – old people houses didn’t always used to be old people houses – it starts slowly with a couple knickknacks and a pair of boat shoes – then you wake up and your couch is covered in plastic, and your false teeth are laying on doilies.”

“Pfft! These are eight dollars! I am not paying eight dollars for boat shoes! I could get these at Savers for two!”

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