Oh Gnomes!

I MADE A FAIRY GARDEN?!

#gnomeageddon

So I'm not really a gardener, but I am a girl so that means I have to like flowers. I didn't ask to be like this, it's years of evolution. Oh and Pinterest. (That crap will make you believe you could be Martha Stewart if you ever quit pinning adorable things long enough to get off your booty and actually attempt one of those things you pinned 3 years ago. Or is that just me?)

 I do not have a green thumb. I try - but usually end up murdering the green life I brought into my home by loving it too much with too much water and sunshine (yes - I have discovered you can give them too much of that stuff) or by sheer neglect. 

                Me: Oh hello little plant, you are adorable. I will grow you into a thriving being!

                Plant: *just being a plant*

                

   - two weeks later -
              

                Me: Ugh - I have to keep watering you?
                Plant: *continues to plant, but looking slightly more sad*
                Me: Oooh Pinterest!
                Plant: *dies sad and alone*

Apparently you have to keep looking in on living things. Pretty sure our pets are still alive because of my husband. So me, of all people, I never thought I would end up making a fairy garden.

First of all, I scoffed at them. Why? Why would you want a miniature garden? As established earlier, I am a girl. I'm just not that girly. My love of Unicorns I will fully admit is of the ironic and kitschy variety, and a ploy to annoy my husband. It was an inside joke that spiraled out of control. And fairies, well fairies are just right out. Also, it's probably because I am clumsy, but tiny gardens just seems like a bunch of tiny stuff I will just invariably knock over like Godzilla.

Cue this awesomeness from ThinkGeek:

RAWESOME!

I saw this, and I loved it. I still wasn't thinking this would be the gateway item to get me to make a fairy garden. In fact, the reason I loved it is because it was destroying something adorable in an adorably disgusting way. So I added it to my Amazon wishlist one fateful night probably between drinking beer and being on Pinterest too long, and then low and behold, my best friend bought it for me for Christmas.

For a long while he was just displayed in the living room next to the tv, but I knew this wasn't where he belonged. He needed to be in nature. Free to rampage with the wind in his scales, and the fresh gnomes crunching between his talons. I knew come spring he would have to find an outdoor home. I also know I don't have any real garden space worthy of such a trophy, but there was one sad and lonely tire planter in my yard that just might do the trick. 

Testament to my gardening shame.
This beauty came with the house at no extra charge.
Can you believe it?

Like all crises in my life I turned to the one place I knew I could get answers. The Bible. Pinterest. Pinterest makes you believe you can do anything, and that it's so easy to make those 14 layer rainbow colored unicorn pinata cookies. I call them lie cookies. Surfing around there though I got some ideas. Then the universe converged with a sale at JoAnn on all Fairy Garden supplies and my having no plans this weekend. And thus, my own gnometacular fairy garden was born.

The Supplies:

I knew I wanted some normal looking gnomes to also inhabit the garden unaware of the horror about to befall them in my garden tableau of chaos and destruction. Also - needed mushrooms, because, "aww - mushrooms!"

I love this guy, because he is all; "Hello? Mushroom?"

And I love this guy because he seems slightly concerned but mostly, "Eh?"

And this guy is all, "I'm sitting on a mushroom".
Yeah that's all I got from him.

MUSHROOMS AND SNAILS?!
Also "HehHeh Snail Road" - because secretly I am a 13 year old boy.

I bought rocks to make a path, and moss to I don't know what.
Not knowing what I would need it was an impulse purchase because it was next to the rocks at JoAnn.
Needless to say I ended up not using it, so will be returning it.

The Method to My Madness:
I wanted to lay out my items so I knew how much space I was working with in the pot, and where I wanted things placed. Also, this was never about the plants for me, rather it was all about the best presentation of Gnomeageddon I could come up with. I also know from previous trips to the nursery, due to my inexperience, I always over buy on my plants. So I laid out roughly where I wanted everything and took a photo for reference so while I was at the nursery I would be able to reign myself in and realize I could not in fact buy ALL THE THINGS. In the end, I still think I ended up over buying on the plants and things will probably get crowded in my garden of doom, but for me, the picture was still helpful while at the nursery. I think I ended up buying two extra plants I won't need, as opposed to the 4 extra that were in my cart at one point. Success? I'll take it as a small victory.

My Reference for how much room I would have.

I mounded the dirt under my Kaiju because he is only technically 9 inches tall, but I wanted him to be the focus and seem larger than life. Also, I figured if my plants grow up, I'd still like him to be larger than them.

While I was at the nursery I found a mushroom house that has a SOLAR PANEL SO IT LIGHTS UP AT NIGHT! OHMYGODSHROOM! Even though where the planter is, and where I stuck the house in the planter, I have a feeling it won't get much light to charge it, it's still freaking cool in my opinion. Ah crap. I'm becoming a person who makes fairy gardens aren't I?

The Plants:

I was hoping for more help on Pinterest with this. And had I planned more than two hours before I left, I may have found some useful info, but I kind of decided to wing it here. I also was hoping my nursery would just have a section of "Fairy Garden" perfect plants. No dice. 

My planter is under a giant tree and my backyard is part sun at best, but mostly part shade. I usually fill this thing with impatiens and coleus. So my goal was to find shade to part shade plants that weren't going to get too high based on their descriptions. I just went up and down the aisles reading tiny cards and guessing.

I've numbered which plants are where in the garden and added their tags for reference. I only ended up spending $10 on plants for this, which seems cheap to me. (We won't get into the gnome house. It's SOLAR! You have to pay for cutting-edge technology).

Plant 1 - Torenia

I've never heard of this guy before, but the blooms on the card look beautiful.
I am excited to see how this one turns out.

Plant 2 & 3 - Coleus
I know these guys will be the tallest in my garden, but figured behind the Kaiju they would provide nice filler and look hopefully like he is breaking through a jungle on his quest for gnome lunch.

Plant 2 is the Coral Sunrise, and 3 is the Jade.
Not going to lie - the fact the name was "Wizard" helped decide to purchase these.
I wanted to buy a third called purple dragon but reigned myself in when looking at my reference photo.

Plant 4 - Lobelia
This is where I think I over-bought. I should have bought one purple and one white instead of two of each. I am concerned these guys might get too crowded. I am also hoping I can prune them some and force them where I want them to go.

Plant 5 - Bacopa
I had never heard of this guy either, but I really like how kind of shrubby he looked and he seems to be "full height" based on his tag. 

I have no idea what I'm doing.

The Final Results: GNOMEAGEDDON!
In the end, I had fun, and I am pleased with how it turned out. I have no idea if I made the right choices in terms of plants and placement, but time will tell. I'll post some shots later this summer of the plants progress.

I did find one clever tip on Pinterest that I incorporated; to put a plastic bag under your rocks, so they don't sink into the dirt. This part was a little futzy for my taste, but I think will be worth it over time.

The expression on the dude's face in the back still kills me.
"Hmm, something seems to be happening...perhaps not good?"

Meanwhile in Gnome Town - "Did you hear something mushroom?"

The snails began evacuating last Tuesday.

Literally 45 minutes after taking this photo it started to rain and blow and hail.
#typicalminnesotaspring
Nothing was damaged so - hooray!