I am teh pimp!

I have a job...it is not a career - merely a job. I am a glorified lackey with a desk. They say "Monkey jump!" and I jump saying "OOooh Eee Aaah EE!"

I have a thankless job - anything that goes wrong in our company they like to point the finger at our team - and me especially. I have very few friends. I get to be the bad guy a lot. Lukily my team supports me, and knows I am not the bad guy. Because we have offices all over the place 98f the people I "work" with - I've never met.

Sarcastic e-mails have become my new job skill. You can give lots of bitchy directions as long as you follow it with that smiley and a couple exclimation points. I also find it best to tell people to have a great day.

We have a sales kick-off every year. Last year I did not go because I was working too much. This year - same deal, I have too much to do to take a day off and go eat steak at a country club while looking at power point presentations. My team all really wants me to go. They think it's time that the Wizard of Oz (me) finally stepped from behind her cube and made an appearance. I feel like a) I have too much work to do, and b) I like that they don't have a face to put with all their hate.

But it is an exciting time of year. Mostly because we ask all our vendors for gifts and they give them to us. Why - because they want to grease our puckered schpinchters...at least as far as I can tell that's the only reason they do it. Until I had this job, I had no idea there was so much "gift giving", going on. It makes my little socialist heart skip a beat.

It's like Christmas everyday. We get Timberwolves tickets, concert tickets, ugly t-shirts, golf balls, CD's of bands none of us have ever heard of, Vikings tickets, gift cards, resturant passes, it's a crap shoot but still like Christmas. You never know - will the next one be something good, or just more socks from grandma?!

Today from one of the local TV stations we got some gift certificates, a spa package and three HeMan DVD box sets. I nearly crapped myself!! Apparently because I have been an extra good monkey I got a DVD slipped to me on the side - the other two will actually make it to the gift table. SCORE!

Could my day get any better?! HE-MAN! And the MASTERS OF THE MOTHER FUCKING UNIVERSE!! Representn' Eternia Old Skool yo!

Today we also got 30 tickets to a Minnesota Wild Suite. We all drooled over them - stared at them reverently.

Our main boss man decided to split them up into groups of ten for the raffle/gift table. Then came back ten minutes later and asked if the department would like one of the groups of ten.

HELL YES I WOULD!

I get two. Me and a friend...the ass kissing line forms behind me. If your nice I might let you watch He-Man with me too.

The only catch is I have to go to the Country Club for to pick up the tickets. Curses!

I struck a deal tho - I still have too much to do tomorrow to spend all day - but I have promised to show up at three for the "Casino" portion of the event to redeem my free drink tickets and collect my Box Suite Wild tickets. Suck it bitches! I still rule you! :) Thanks so much!! Hope you have a great weekend!!!