Colorful Hardboiled Chicken Embryos

So as a good little ex-witness I have tried most holidays.

I still haven't gotten into Halloween or Easter. They are more kid friendly. I mean sure I could dress up like a zombie bride - but but no one is gonna give me candy cuz I am "too old".

And Easter - well, the christian religious connotation of it leaves me out since I don't attend church, and again - I am far too old to be knocking down five year olds as I sprit toward plastic eggs on the lawn filled with tootsie rolls and spare coinage.

My "worldly" family doesn't do Easter either - since none of them are religious either. We do all go apeshit for Thanksgiving tho because we totally believe in the Gods of Football and Food.

I have distinct holiday childhood memories.

1) Feeling like a rube because I couldn't participate in the Halloween Costume parade in 1st Grade - and wanting so badly to be able to dress up! As anything. I'd have been a princess - witch - cat - hobo - waffles - ANYTHING! I just wanted to dress up. I didn't even care about the candy.

2) Sneaking into my aunts living room to look at her christmas tree and to inspect the ornaments and lights. It was so pretty. I also remember grilling my mom about christmas trees she had as a kid, and before they were witnesses - and then I got a little too carried away and asked where we would put a christmas tree in our house. I just wanted a pretty tree to sit under and look at at night. I didn't care about the presents, songs, or santa.

3) I remember getting easter coloring sheets in kindergarten and wanting to color them so badly. I would have colored my eggs pretty - and what's not appealing about bunnies and chicks to a five year old country girl? I also remember seeing a glitter egg kit on tv. You dye your egg - then shook it up in a special container of glitter. The dorky children pulled them out and oohed and ahhed over them. I wanted that so bad! I didn't care about candy or cheap toys laid out on plastic grass - I just wanted to glitter some eggs. Pagan ode to fertility be damned. I didn't even know what those words meant.

This year Gabe invited us to go have Easter Dinner with his family. I have nothing going on Sunday so I can go.

It's nothing fancy. I just looked at it as a nice dinner with friends.

But then his Mom said we could color easter eggs. I don't know why but I got really excited. Like REALLY excited. I'm 26 years old - I have no idea how one goes about doing it - or what the point of hardboiling eggs and then painting them is. I just know it looks like fun - and I so wanna do it!!

In spite of missing out on these childish things as a child I'm not bitter. In a way - I can be greatful. How many people can say they remember their first Christmas tree? Well I do - vividly, because I bought it myself this past winter. Not many people can say they remember the first design they made on Easter Egg - but I will be able to because I'm doing it this Sunday.

Life's simple joys: food coloring, vinegar, some hard boiled chicken embryos.

Whatever this Holiday finds you doing - I wish you all to be able to find happiness, but not just any happiness - the complete joy and abounding happiness that kids have.