Are you authorized to even have an e-mail address?

I work with a lot of people that should not be allowed to have e-mail accounts. Because we're an educational institution many of my co-workers try to have inspiring quotes in their signature block.

What your signature block says about you:


1) You have too much time on your hands
2) You can't think of smart things to say on your own so you need quotes
3) That you probably attended one too many team building exercises and you probably have successories in your office.


What people think about your signature block:
1) Nothing... no one has ever actually read it


Ok so that's not true. I read them.


It's out of control...but the WORST I have seen recently was, and I quote:


"Every man dies, but not every man truly lives"
-William Wallace


Wait.

What?


Really? REALLY?!


First off, is that even historically accurate? How can we attribute any quote to someone who lived in the 13th century with any real certainty - especially someone who's been mythologized greatly.

Actually I went way too deep with my first point. Let me back up...

YOU HAVE AN EFFING MOVIE QUOTE IN YOUR WORK E-MAIL SIGNATURE BLOCK?!












Really?


I have some other suggestions for when you're ready to update your signature block dude that I feel are just as apt...

• "In the land of China, people hardly got nothing at all"
  -Forest Gump
  
• "Who cares how much effort I put in if it doesn't produce any results"
  - Daniel E. 'Rudy' Ruettiger
  
• "We're going to need a bigger boat"
  - Martin Brody
  
• "Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm."
  -Yoda
  
• "Why must I be surrounded by frickin' idiots?"
  - Dr. Evil
  
• "I'm not a geek. I'm a unique weasel"
  - Stoney Brown
  
• "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the nuts!"
  - Brennan Huff
  

That's just my short list...but seriously if you can pick anything from a movie, why that?!

Especially now! You may think you're quoting a historical figure, (which I still say is debatable) but what are people going to picture?

This:

Or this:

I have to hand it to you nameless co-worker. While I personally feel I have never been inspired by an e-mail signature block quote before, this quote has inspired me. You did it...you touched something in me. Sure maybe it was my last nerve but still...

Check it out; this bad boy is getting added to mine tomorrow morning:

"You don't F__ing count. You're a F__ing using whore."
- Mel Gibson