Travel Log -

I'm on a road trip with my family. I think the last I took with them I was like 19...and never traveled with my aunt and granny. Oh yeah -- agoraphobic granny is taking this trip because in her words, "I'm 86, I'll be dead soon - this is probably my last trip." Ah granny -- such a realist.

Let me just say traveling with an 86 year old is a lot like traveling with a three year old. They don't listen, and have to pee a lot. In fact the only difference I can tell so far is the amount of medication. But I love my granny. Even if every once and a while I wonder if the odor in the car is her or the dog...

Today around about Rockford IL, there was a really strong eggy smell that whacked us all in the face. I couldn't help it., "Oh god -- what was that?!" I exclaim, willing to blame the farmland.

My aunt driving says - "probably your grandmother."

"Really?" I say, "I couldn't tell if it was inside or outside the car."

"Yeah I am pretty sure it was an inside job" says my aunt eyeing up granny in the back seat.

I'm proud of granny taking the trip. It's so far out of her comfort zone, I would liken it to me trying out for the Russian Ballet. That being said however, she is some kind of reverse vampire. The sun sets and she gets all antsy for a hotel. The really sad part is the sun sets at 5 pm. But she was ready for bed.

She's also extremely Minnesotan, which means a level of passive aggressiveness that would make even the most hardened Bubby, learn a new trick or two. She's wiggling in the back seat and muttering that her medication makes her have to pee all the time. So we say, "Do you want us to pull over immediately or in 8 miles there is a way side rest, can you make it 8 miles"

"Whatever, everyone wants to do."

Well know - you're the one who should probably be wearing an astronaut diaper, on medication that makes you have to whiz, so really our schedule is kind of up to your whim.

Later when she is looking for a hotel to roost in, "Where is the hotel"

"We don't have one, we're going to find one"

"Oh - well, whatever"

We tell her we'll stop on the other side of Indy. So I see her reading the signs and counting the miles. Then we hit some traffic.

"Well this sure is taking a a while, why aren't we there yet"

"There is some traffic granny, we'll get there soon".

10 minutes pass, we see a sign that says "Louisville" --

"Well I guess we're just driving to Louisville and driving all night."

"No grandma, we're going to get a hotel"

"Do we know where the hotel is?"

"We've got a list of a couple, but we'll have to see what's available"

"Does that thing take us there?" (Indicating the GPS)

"Yes"

"I don't even know how that can possibly work - how will we get there?"

We arrive at the hotel, we all wait while mom runs into check availability haggle for a coupon price we saw of $45. In the parking lot, "We better just take this, I'm not looking anywhere else"

"Ok Granny"

She starts kicking the back of the seat, "I have to pee"

"We could go in the lobby"

"No - I wait"

Mom secures the rooms, and shows us where to park

"Does she even know what she's doing?"

"Yes granny, she's got room keys."

"Well ok."

We determine granny is cranky and hungry, so we choose the dennys literally across the parking lot. My mom sensing granny's reverse vampirism offers to stay at the hotel with her, and the rest of us can bring food back.

"no, I can go"

20 minutes later, she'll stay with mom. We run some food to the ravenous Verla-raptor. We're in bed by 8. No casualties, all limbs still in tact.

Also there is large distrust of GPS among the ranks. It's like winning over an island of primitive people, trying to show them how guns work...but more on that later.

I best get my ass in bed. It is the late late hour of 8:19, and these kids get up at like 2 in the morning. (Probably has something to do with being in bed by 7...*sigh*

I love my family...I miss my husband....night night kids~

More travel stories later.