Happy VD

Jo: “Am I getting flowers at work tomorrow?”

Gabe: “No”

Jo: “Why not?”

Gabe: “Isn’t getting flowers at work on Valentine’s day cliché?”

Jo: “Yes. But I still want them. How else am I supposed to rub it in that I have a Valentine? 90% of the joy of Valentine’s Day is making single people feel bad by showing off your overpriced flowers at work.”

Gabe: *stunned silence*

Well – it’s true. I did my time as a singleton. Scoffing at the commercialization of romance, but secretly hopping someone would plan a flash-mob for me.

It’s the dual nature of modern girldom; emphasis on the dumb. Know that antiquated notions of what constitutes romance are clichés perpetuated by jewelry stores, florists, and chocolatiers to cash in on peoples desires for love and affection, but still want that shit anyway. Now, also secretly hate yourself for wanting the shit.

I don’t even like chocolate.

And hipsters of both genders – don’t try to blow this holiday off as a “Hallmark Holiday – only created to make a buck. I don’t need a special day to show I love someone, blargh blah!”  It’s true, you don’t. However – do you actually show someone you love them on other days? If the answer is yes, you’re absolved. If you can count back 365 days and realize you’ve not done something extra special* for your loved ones ‘just because’ – then yeah – we do need a holiday.

*Extra special here does not mean, farting outside of the car before getting in. While thoughtful, it does not constitute “extra special”.

This is all possibly just my rebellion to my upbringing where I was told at every holiday:

·         “We should honor our parents every day – not just Mothers/Father’s day.”

·         “We should be thankful every day – not just Thanksgiving”

·         “We should show people we love them every day – not just Valentine’s day.”

·         “We should honor and love Jesus every day – not just at Christmas.”

·         “We should try to steal gold from small statured Irish people every day- not just Saint Patrick’s day”

·         “We should raise rabbits that lay eggs – because who’s ever done that?*”

·         Etc. You get the formula. 

*To be fair – no one ever told me that growing up. But seriously, who has ever done that? No one.

Yes, it’s true – we should do all of those things every day. But in the hustle and flow that is life, it is nice to have a reminder for everyone, that “yup – love and romance is an important facet of the life experience, and I care about you.”

Now – I’m not saying you have to buy into the hype and buy the cards or overpriced flowers. But a handmade note, a special treat – you should do at least that. Some kind of token that says, “Sweet baby jeebus, I am so thankful that you make it so I don’t have to be in the dating world anymore – because those bitches are CRAZY!” I mean that has to be worth at least $50 worth of roses.

And yeah – if you can flaunt those roses to your co-workers, I say bonus. “See that Doris? Maybe if you put your coffee cups in the employee sink, someone would love you enough to send you flowers at work.”

All I’m trying to say is, the reason for the season is jealousy. And that employee of the month got a balloon AND flowers?! IT’S JUST NOT FAIR!

But it’s all good. I know I have a thoughtful husband at home who does special things for me all year; without prompting even!

So whoever you are, wherever you are – you’re loved. And I hope even on an over commercialized day, you can take at least a few minutes to feel the love. And if you didn’t get a Valentine today, print out this blog and stick it on your cube wall. It’s my valentine to you – you sexy beast.

Up yours Doris.