mmm...Cranberries

"Hello - and welcome to the Cranberry Discovery Center!"

"My name is Jerlene and I'll be your guide today."

"At the end of today's tour, feel free to go to our interpretive center to see this month's display 'Cranberry: Scourge to Scurvy'. As you know there are many uses for cranberries. Probably more than you realize. For a small fee you can use our audio tour tapes to listen to Hume Cronyn read you a comprehensive list of all cranberry products."

"Let's get started. This is a cranberry."

"Take a good look. Don't crowd. Plenty of room for everyone. Yes, it is red. Once you've seen it, please step back to make room for the whole group. What was that sweetheart? No, you can't touch it, just looking. Now I'll rotate it to show you the other side. You'll notice it's very similar to the first side, but of course, I've turned it - so it's not in fact the same side. Go ahead, you can look. Don't be bashful! Let everyone get a chance."

"Well that concludes our tour. I'd like to finish by saying thank you, for coming to the Cranberry Discovery Center. I hope you leave today with a new found love for our tart little friend the cranberry. If you'd like to stay and ask questions, I'll be happy to answer them. Yes - you in the orange capris what's your question? No, I am sorry we don't offer free samples. You are welcome to purchase any products in our gift shop. Anyone else? Yes - you in the back? Umm, well no - Cranapple juice is not the juice from an apple-cranberry hybrid fruit. It's just two juices blended together. Interesting, sir - no to my knowledge there is no fruit called a crapple. Excuse me miss, do you think that's funny? That is not funny. If you can't be more respectful I'm going to have to ask you to leave, and I take care to remind you that Cranberry Discovery Center does not offer refunds. With that I am going to conclude this tour. Again, thank you for coming."