Best Picture

I am proud of me. I did it. I watched them all. Which makes me an expert, and it also makes me excited to actually watch the Oscars this year. I always like to watch, but I usually don't have an opinion since I've not had a chance to watch all the movies, but this year is different.

A great movie in my opinion has the following criteria; It gets me to think, it is an enjoyable story, the characters are believable.

So with much anticipation - here are the nominees for best picture, the big daddy of all the prizes tonight. The others I have done in alphabetical order. These I will count down from worst to first.

American Hustle
I tried not to talk about the movies too much in my prior reviews, but I kept finding myself referencing this one in my reviews. Pretty much everyone in it except Jeremy Renner got a nomination in this movie. And I don't know why.

This movie was a total turd. Again, I am biased against the 70's. I am ashamed that the first four months of my life were spent in this horrible decade, but aside from that, this was just not a good movie.

Bale is a schmuck. Amy Adams is drawn to him for some reason, that even her character can't explain. Somehow he has a hot young wife already in Jennifer Lawrence who is a crazy cakes as well.

I didn't care about any of the characters. Jennifer Lawrence's crazy cakes amused me, and she got all the best lines, but she was not worth the price of admission on this snooze-fest. The only reason I can imagine why it is up for best picture is because it gives the aging academy male voters hope that even if they are fat and balding they might have two hot women fight over them in the twilight of their decrepitude where they think back fondly on the 70's because that's when they made all their money and were real wheeler-dealers.

Her
This movie would have been the worst of the best, it's only saving grace it was not set in the 70's. But it is set in the near future, which if we are to believe this movie, means the Hipsters won. Everyone has messenger bags and skinny jeans and loves mid-century furniture. We all listen to emo hipster music, and look like we live in an Ikea catalog. This is the bleakest future movie ever, and a future I want no part of.

On top of that it's just boring. Joaquin Phoenix is a man who falls in love with his Operating System. And sometimes they have cyber sex. I guess that was supposed to be titillating? But I've already seen this on an episode of My Strange Addiction when a guy was in love with his car and sex with it. I didn't find that particularly enlightening either, nor a sad commentary on the disconnected nature of modern life. I found it laughable. You might say I just didn't get it, but I think I did - and I just didn't care.

Captain Phillips
How did this rank so low? It's not a bad movie at all - but we have to put these in order somehow - and it just was not that high on my list of favorites.

Hanks was awesome. His performance in the last 10 minutes of the film were goose-bump inducing and I am a little sad he didn't get a nomination.

Again, it's not a horrible movie - just not one I would pick as best picture worthy. I guess that's the beauty of a larger best picture pool - you can pick more movies that might not have made it in otherwise, but I think there were other movies this year that I would have nominated over this one.

It was intense, but suffered a little bit on pacing towards the end. It's a true story, which is something I always like in a movie. Worth a watch, but not one I say is a must-see of 2013.

Wolf of Wall Street
Scorsese is a great director, and some people are whining because he didn't get nominated this year in that category, but this is not his best work. DiCapprio I think it playing a role he's played many times before.

This movie did make me think; that capitalism is gross. But that's not a particularly helpful thought to have. Greed, and avarice are terrible things corrupting our society, but ultimate moral of this movie is - this guy gets away with it. I don't if that is Scorsese sending us up, that we don't take white color crime seriously, but it felt more like rich people can do whatever they want and get away with it. It didn't leave me feeling good about life.

There are two great scenes in this movie in my opinion. McConaughey's great little cameo, and a scene near the end when DiCapprio is on his yaht talking to the feds. It's a GREAT scene. Watching this movie overall made me feel icky though. Much in the same way watching the Act of Killing made me feel icky. Like in a way we are just enjoying watching assholes be rich assholes and walking a way saying, "meh". I don't really like that. Also this movie was way too long, and bloated.

It had moments, but for me, not something I would really re-watch and can't say that I overall enjoyed start to finish.

Philomena
I loved this movie, and yet it ends up in the middle of the pack. It's just not a cinematic great in my opinion.

However, that being said - I am glad it is a nominee because I think it will get more people to see it who otherwise might not have. In terms of making me feel something - it totally did. So many feels. Happy feels, sad feels, angry feels, wanting to be a better person feels...all the feels!

I think the overall message was a good one. It's a classic two people from two different backgrounds coming together and teaching each other something, and learning to see the world differently because of their friendship. Classic, probably trite, but still a story line I enjoy. Throw in the amazing Judi Dench, and the funny Steve Coogan, and I am sold! A sweet little gem of a movie that at the end of made me feel like a better person for having watched.

Gravity

This movie ended up higher on my list than I thought it would. It only edged out Philomena, because I feel in terms of movie history, Gravity will be one people point to as being ground-breaking. It does something to further the legacy of movies.

It was a beautiful movie. It left me in awe, and some of the camera work was amazing. It did reaffirm my belief that humans have no business in space. Probably not the goal of the movie - but that was my take-away.

It was intense, but paced nicely. I didn't feel like it was too laggy. There were a few times I was yelling at her for being a pokey pokerson, but I think that's just a part of any movie of that ilk.

I don't do space movies, but I enjoyed this movie more than I thought I would. At it's core it's a survivalist movie - and those are great popcorn munchers.

For my next two movies, I am torn on their order.

I loved them both.

Because I can, let's consider them both tied for second.

Dallas Buyers Club
I have been telling everyone this is a must see movie.

It is. Go. Go now.

It's got everything I love in a movie. Based on a true story, someone over-coming odds, a David vs. Goliath situation, people from different backgrounds coming together, changing their opinions, sometimes staying the same, sometimes becoming better people. All of it. It has it, and it never loses track of itself in the midst of all of those sub-story lines.

McConaughey plays a womanizing macho-man cowboy who learns he has AIDS. He can choose to give up and die because at the time, if you have AIDS that's your only option, or he can fight. He chooses to fight, and ends up doing pretty well. He starts to treat others bucking big pharma, and befriending a doctor and a transwoman in the process. Two things that would have been unthinkable for him before his diagnosis. It's another film, I feel better after having watched.

Nebraska
This is a love story. A love story between parents and children. I am quite aware my love for this movie is because it's main characters are all from the Midwest, and I am entering a stage in my life where I will have to face being a care-taker for my aging parents (someday -- they aren't going in a home any time soon by any means). So of course it strikes a cord with me.

It's funny and understated. My kind of movie. Again, because of where I grew up and live, I know all of these people or people like them. It's such a true picture of small town mid-america it hurts. 

Ultimately it's about a son appreciating his crazy old man, who maybe wasn't the best father when he was growing up, but his son is going to be a good son to him anyway. It's truly touching, and I loved every bit of it.

12 Years a Slave

For me, this movie had everything. Again - based on a true story, a story we know very little about, despite what we think we know about history.

It's a movie that shook me emotionally so many times. The beauty of this movie and it's execution is that we see slavery from the eyes of a fellow outsider. None of us know what slavery was like, and neither did Solomon Northup,  who was a free man living in the north, who was kidnapped and sold to a plantation in the south. We, like Solomon, think we know it's a bad deal - but have no idea the depths of the horror that is human slavery.

When he was terrified, I was terrified. When he is in despair about not being able to find a way of escape, I am in despair right with him. When he sees a glimmer of hope, I dare to dream with him. This movie haunted me, and I still can't stop thinking about it. It has one of the most brutal whipping scenes I've ever seen, and it was all over a bar of soap. This movie moved me to tears more than a few times.

I know people think movies like these dwell on the past, and that we should just get over it - and why does it matter. But it does matter. And calling the Civil War the War Between the States diminishes what a huge institution slavery was, and emotional and psychic impact that it has left on our country. It was a long time ago -- but not that long ago. It's not a feel-good movie. You won't finish watching it and feel like you're the king of the world, but you can't not watch it and feel changed afterwards. To me, that is the mark of a great film.

I don't know what else to say about it. I love it. If it doesn't win best picture I will seriously be disappointed.