Pet Peeves

Yesterday I was privy to one of my biggest pet peeves.

Because I had not had enough Asian culture at the nail salon, I went to an Asian buffet so I could be greeted by more people I couldn't really understand.

When I eat alone, I like to face whichever direction will mean I have the fewest people to look at. Also, if presented with a table next to someone who is also eating alone, I will sit so it does not appear as if we are at an extended table. It's like eating with a stranger. I don't like eating with people I know, why would I want to eat with a stranger?

So I am sitting, my back to a wall. A single older gentleman diner sits at the table in front of mine. I say a silent prayer to myself, that he will choose to sit with his back to me so I don't have to face him. No such luck. He takes the side opposite me, so now I am sharing dinner with a stranger. It's hard with someone sitting directly in front of you to not make eye-contact. It un-nerves me to no end. And when I went to the buffet for round two, I was tempted to switch sides. But I didn't, because he would know what I was up to. And I hate to be rude to strangers or hurt their feelings.

Yes...this is my own private hell I have created. But this is my quirk. So?

Later at the mall, I discovered another pet peeve.

I have always hated going to the bathroom with other women. One because it feeds that stereotype that women must urinate in herds. And two, because a lot of them like to talk through the stall. NO!

NO!!!

No talking! I am busy doing my business. Conversation ends. I don't want you to speak up over the tinkle noise. Just zip it!

Therefore all of this can be avoided if you go alone.

However, you still have to deal with other herds. Women who talk to their friends while you are trying to do your business. Which is just as bad as your friend trying to talk to you.

"So I told him he could go fuck himself ya know?"

"Oh I know, after Bob and I make love, he always wants to do his little victory dance, and while it was cute at first, it just annoys me now."

"Yeah Bill did that too. By the way did you see what Cheri was wearing?"

"OH MY GOD! THOSE SHOES!"

AGGH!

Too much info! I am trying to release my bladder, not get the inside scoop on your love life or who is a walking fashion faux pax in your circle of friends! Let me pee in peace! I BEG YOU!

So yesterday...I get in my little cubicle of goodness. I just settle in, and I hear it.

A voice in the next stall. DAMNIT! SHE'S A TALKER.

"So Jamie called me last night"

...

"I know! I was like, what the hell?!"

...

I kept waiting for the second voice. And then it dawned on me. THIS WOMAN WAS A NEW DISPICABLE LEVEL OF BATHROOM CHATTER...A PHONE PISSER!

She was actually on her cell phone! WHO DOES THAT?!

I'm sorry but if you call me, while I am pissing, I let voice mail get it. Cripes!

What was her friend thinking. You can clearly hear the echo and flushing. What is so damn important that you can't wait until you've toweled off to talk about?

Beh! It makes my stomach churn.